I just wanted to be human. Ch. 8 A SPG fanfic

"I Just Wanted to be Human"- A Steam Powered Giraffe fanfic
~by achgfd

Suggested listening:
Song: Don't Cry Out
Album: We Are Pilots
Artist: Shiny Toy Guns

then

Song: Nocturne
Album: Tron: Legacy
Artist: Daft Punk

Chapter 8: I just wanted to be Human

*Files converted* Rabbits system announced. He opened his eyes and rotated his shoulders, recharging his batteries a bit while waiting.

"Let's see what you know..." He accessed the files from his drive, not sure exactly which to start with. They were labeled as colors, in no consecutive order. "What should we start with Spine? How about... green."

In the video was Spine. He was sitting on some grass. It was from the start of the week, when they went sight seeing to a park. He pulled some blades out of the ground. He had a huge smile, like genuinely happy. "Video Log 4." He spoke, trying very hard to keep a straight face. "I don't know why, but I just wanted to roll around in this grass. Its so... so... tickley!" He giggled. Like an actual childlike giggle instead of Spines usual, deeper sort of laugh. "I can actually feel it, like I had skin or something! Each piece of grass rubbing against my arms." He took a content sigh and looked about the park. "I'm using phrases not usual in my vocabulary. I almost sound like Rabbit sometimes. I'm just... I'm so happy! Not artificially happy. Not a program response. I'm just happy!" He stretched his arms in the air and fell backwards on his back, still grinning ear to ear. "I wanted to thank you. Thank you for this... this feeling!"

Rabbit frowned as the clip ended, almost slightly jealous of Spine, he did look like he was having fun. "Well... fun for once. We can't all be as cool as me."

"Video Log 7." Spine started. It was dark around him, seeming to be in a very closed in space. He was giggling again, but almost gasping to get oxygen for his boiler. This seemed like the night Jon remembered. "I can't... stop." He had to pause for another laughing fit. "It wasn't even that funny! These emotions. They are becoming..." He covered his face and mouth trying to keep his laughter quiet. "Increasingly irregular... I can't control... them... at all!" It almost looked like smoke coming out of his mouth. "2 hours.... 2 hours... of this." He coughed, still gasping between giggles and speaking. "I can't function... we need to meet.... you need to... to help me... I-"

The recording ended abruptly. This was where things were turning. Rabbit frowned and turned towards Spine on the desk. Was this what it was like living with true human emotions? Not like his own artificial ones. Over the long years he could tell when he was happy, sad, lonely, in love. He didn't over think it the way Spine did. Was ignorance really bliss?

He started the next recording. It opened with lots of yelling and screaming. He could barely tell where spine was in the chaos. The camera was shaking and the audio covered in static. After a few moments everything paused, finally revealing a battered and exhausted Spine. He was standing in the trees, outside the parking lot by their hotel. He panted heavily, releasing lots of steam from his mouth. "Why won't you answer me." He growled. This wasn't a weak Spine, this was an angry Spine. "I keep sending you messages, trying to open conferences with you. WHY WON'T YOU JUST ANSWER ME!" His tone was dark and deep, his eyes almost changing to a blood red. The look in his eyes reminded Rabbit of the night of the attacks. Spine let out a scream, punching a fist through a steel dumpster and leaving a deep dent. "I tried to tell them. Micheal asked whats wrong. I couldn't answer! I tried to speak and different words came out of my mouth." The words came through clenched teeth. "I shut down... or something. Came back online above Micheal's head. I had Rabbit's saw. I don't know where it came from. I don't know why I have it. I NEED YOU TO ANSWER ME-" Spine continued on an extensive, long winded and thorough cussing out. Using words Rabbit never heard from his brother, or knew what they were but could tell they were not nice.
Exhausted from the yelling, Spine panted and fell to his knees. "My programming stopped me. I couldn't let myself hurt them. I won't. At least I have the fail safe, my safety net. I can't... can't hurt them..." His demeanor changed, his voice laced with depression. His anger had faded, but the next emotion wasn't much better.
"I... can't..." He began to sob. Covering his eyes with both hands as the oil slicked tears rolled down his titanium face. "I don't want this anymore. I just... I just wanted to be human... please take it away... I don't want to hurt them..."

Rabbit stopped the recording prematurely. Staring at the floor and placing his hand on the side of his face. He thought he would only find the culprit from watching these videos, but seeing Spine in such a state. It disturbed him, feeling angry and sad for his brother at the same time. Even if they couldn't bring Spine back, he couldn't let this happen to any of the others. He'd make sure of it.
Only one video was left. After taking a brief rest Rabbit pushed on.

It opened in the dressing room from the show. Spine was in the room alone, hands rested on the makeup desk as he stared deeply into the mirrors. He was quiet for a full minute. His hands never moving, his eyes never turning away. He was trying to communicate something. Something deeper. Was this video intended for her?
There was banging on the dresser room door. "Spine what are you doing? We gotta fuel up." Rabbit yelled through the door.
Closing his eyes tightly Spine gripped the edge of the table. He was trying to restrain it. He cut himself off, secluded himself. And there was Rabbit, banging angrily on the door.
"Holly I know you are there." Spine finally spoke, his voice shaky. "The emotions are a distraction." He slowly opened his eyes, they had lost their shine and began to turn into that rage fueled glare. "I know what you really want. And I'd rather die then let you have it." He stood slowly, his hands still resting on the table and Rabbit continued to pound on the door. "You can delete every piece of me, but you will never... never touch the others." He twinged in pain and the video suddenly ended.